“We are the Feds…and We are here to help YOU” ???

Really?  I don’t believe you!

Just back from what we could choke down in Bozeman at the Small Business Workshop thrown by our very own Montana Senator Jon Tester (partnered with other government bureaucrats and Max Baucus himself).

This is by far the worst reason I have ever risen at the ‘crack of dawn’ to leave town.  I didn’t intend on actually learning anything once I arrived but I thought at least I’d figure out how to get 5 million of the tax payers dollar (just kidding), alhough we could do a lot with Montana Shrugged with a check like that!  Community Organizers we are….

It ended up being a big dog and pony show with government agency reps suggesting they know best and they know how to run our lives if we would just let them.  Only problem is…they don’t.

Our very own Senator Jon Tester opened the day with the Pledge of Allegiance , not sure from his vote in Congress that he believes it!  Then he went on to say what you hear everyday ‘jobs for Montanan’s….’ and so on and so forth.  Lie and lie after lie.  Then Max Baucus showed up and gave his statement to the concerned and mostly unemployed business leader crowd.  I did not realize he came on Best Western  letterhead.  A gracious and slightly embarrassed intern read his ever droning words.  Please see video below!

Obviously you can see by watching video that what Max had to say was same as always as well!  The message never comes directly from his own mouth, may I add!  Tester and Baucus, where are the townhalls?

The first presentation was given by a woman by the name of Maureen Jewell.  She works for The Montana Procurement Technical Assistance Center.  Since the Federal Government is so good at making up acronyms we will call it the PTAC for simplicity.

Federal Contracting 101:  What I learned (or had to choke down)

First and foremost, “Watch out taxpayers we are here to give away your hard earned money”.  We print worthless money and then we either buy stuff from you or lend it to you with interest due.

I learned from Maureen that “the federal government can kill a business who is in a precarious position” .  The “federal government is not good for those types of companies”.  Hmmm, I wonder why?

A few more acronyms later,  I learned that the there is nothing the Federal Government has not and does not purchase, i.e. comic books.   I know of many websites that I can go to if I want to wade through this bureaucracy but if I just visit just one , chances are I will never get anywhere.  If you are on fifth site answering questions and you make one error, you must start over.  One would need a good team of accountants, businessmen and attorneys to make it work.  Where is the EASY button when you need it.

Just as a note to yourself, do not apply for a federal contract of any sort if you have not paid a portion of your taxes or have debt with the feds of any sort.  That brings up one of their red flags with the IRS which immediately gets you thrown in jail without your $200.  I wonder how all those politicians and corrupt people in Washington have continued to stay on the payroll? Hmmm…

Then she had the gall to add “Did you know that the government is not as depressed as the rest of the country?”  WHAT?  I just wanted to shout “Well did you know that the government doesn’t actually and never has made any money on their own?  They just take from the people or print more monopoly money when they deem necessary!”  Ignorance is bliss right?  I believe they are brainwashed, what do you think?

I also want to point out a comparison used multiple times while we were sitting through hell this morning.  Did you know that a federal government contract is like a teeter totter?  Remember those when you were a kid?  Just think about it this way: You are one side (hanging on by a toenail…..) and the federal government on the other side.  Only problem is that the federal government weighs about 700,000 pounds and should be contestant on NBC’s Biggest Loser!  You lose.  Hello Moonwalk.

Oh yeah, and while I’m on side notes did you know the federal government is the single largest buyer in the entire world?  Interesting right?  Maybe we should all stop filing taxes and the federal government would finally be as depressed as the rest of us.  Oh that is right, they will just print more funny money.

Everything with the federal government is always set in stone until they change it.  Everything is ‘one way’ until they decide that the rules should change and that happens often and without prior notice.  Be wary when dealing with them and ever on the alert.

OK, on to the second presentation of the morning.  Keep in mind at this point my coffee was gone and I’d been up since 4AM!  This presentation was given by The Montana Department of Administration.  Mr. Bob Oliver was representing that department.

I learned nothing more from him except I thought three things that caught my curiousity.

  1. Montana is a very unique state.  (I knew that of course but I did not see where he was going with this comment.)  All meetings within his department are open to the public.  I started thinking, well that is great!  Open to public comment?  Then he struck me down with “the public  just cannot contribute anything to the meetings”.    So how is this a good thing?  One can go to the meetings and waste time but one is never given the opportunity to open mouth and voice opinion?  Silent Transparency…you can see but you cannot comment.    Of course it is the government way or the highway!
  2. I must not forget the second thing I learned from his presentation.  A bid that is late is ALWAYS late, no excuses.  It doesn’t even matter if it’s late due to global warming!  Or a fax machine that is broke because you don’t have the money to fix it.  It’s even late if the USPS screws up the mail!
  3. Never forget to go through the state’s checklist before submitting a bid.  Would you like to know that it’s 220 pages long?  Yep, you better get started now!

OK, on to the last presentation we could stomach the patience for was  given by the U.S. Small Business Administration.  This one was apparently so important it took 3 people to present!  It was ‘recovery act’ this and ‘recovery act’ that.  Stimulus this and stimulus that.

That’s honestly all I heard until about the very end where the guy looked over at Senator Jon Tester and said “Because Mr. Senator-We are here to hand out free money isn’t that right?”  The nation is nearly bankrupt and they call this free money.  What about our grandchildren.  Are we going to have to sell them into slavery to pay our bills.  God Help Us All.

I’ve never been fond of the Government telling me how to run my life and I’m not even 30!  The government is better left limited.  The people can do a much better and more efficient job!  At least, the majority of people…

They broke meeting here for 15 minute break so we grabbed Montana Shrugged Business card and headed Tester’s way to shake his hand, give him business card and asked him to be on our TV show which airs Thursdays at 8PM on Channel 7 (Bresnan).  He agreed.  We washed our hands and swiftly left the building.  Back to Billings.  Back to the TEA party.  Back to reality… Whew what a deal.

And those poor unemployed broke back business persons that stayed would have to stand in line to talk to the contract agents…….. take a number and get back to me…..


Community Organizer


3 responses to ““We are the Feds…and We are here to help YOU” ???

  • Billings Man

    Ha Ha your hilarious! Seriously though there was some exciting information there, I had no idea the economic state of the government had nothing to do with the economic state of the citizens and businesses in our nation! Thank god for the government printing presses, were gonna be just fine!

  • Anaise

    wow, the arrogance and the dishonesty is infuriating!

  • gary

    Jon Tester is a socialist in step with Barack Obama and the other socialists who have lied to the American people to take office but now go against the will of the people.

    Here in Montana, Tester and his cronies are hosting public meetings about his wilderness bill at health clubs around Montana, among other places.

    Given the subject, the location is ironic: AS IF the topic of Tester’s wilderness legislation is something healthy—the back-to-nature feel of it, all fresh and clean and natural—so let’s all discuss it near those healthy people exercising away on their treadmills, the oblivious glow of exertion in their eyes.

    The health club location is ironic because of the SICKNESS Jon Tester is trying to divert our attention from: THE JON TESTER HEALTHCARE PORTA-POTTY BILL, festering away with disease and stink and bile, Tester’s virulent tax bacteria waiting to crawl out of his healthcare Porta-Potty sewer hole, up into the most vulnerable parts of his constituents.

    JON TESTER and fellow Montana Socialist MAX BAUCUS are screwing the voters over with their healthcare fiasco, and now the voters are supposed to forget all about their healthcare vote against Montana kids and focus on Tester’s grand Montana Wilderness legislation, like we are too stupid to see Jon Tester’s bait-and-switch, like this pretty white “wilderness” horse is going to carry him away to safety in the Montana backcountry, save his sold-out soul from defeat in the next election.

    Yeah, JON, you sold out our kids, and Montanans are so stupid they will divert their senses from the stinking healthcare Porta-Potty you are tipping over in the laps of our children’s future.

    Metaphorically, it is as though you are sticking a hunting knife in our backs and telling us to ignore it and go exercise on a treadmill, like we won’t feel anything is wrong as you drain our blood away.

    You think you can get reelected in the next election by puffing out a bunch of Montana Wilderness smoke?

    You want to cloud our eyes and fog our minds with your diversion Wilderness Bill, like we are supposed to forget about the fatal stab you are giving our children’s future?


    We are going to put YOU and the idiots who work for you out of work and send you straight to the unemployment lines where you are sending our children. We are going to take YOUR PAYCHECKS away because we don’t want to give you our tax money to stab us in the back and dump your bait and switch bile on our kids anymore.

    Yeah, Jon, we’ll look the other way–at your grand, healthy, back-to-nature WILDERNESS BULL and forget about the Porta-Potty mess you are dumping all over us, the knife you are sticking in our backs. You bet.

    During your Furer Obama’s “healthcare summit,” I noticed Nancy Pelosi say:

    “We have to pass this or Medicare/Medicaid will go broke.”

    So Jon the Socialist, you are taking our money NOW to pay a debt for something that happened long ago. You want my kids’ money to fund a system and services that already took place.

    So you are reforming nothing with your “healthcare reform.”

    You are stealing our money to pay for your crap legislation. You aren’t from Montana. You sold us out. You are big sky garbage.

    Here is a picture of the real Jon Tester:

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